'I HATE THIS GAME! I HATE THIS GAME! I LOVE THIS GAME!'
Being a manager is about getting the best out of people. Getting the best performance from your players and coaching staff, getting the support of the board and the media and the best deals out of other clubs and player agents.
Get it right and it can seem like the easiest job in the world - everyone thinks you're great - but all it takes is a little bit of bad luck and you'll be hanging on by your fingertips. Back in 1994 Leyton Orient manager John Sitton delivered the following speech in an attempt to curtail the worst run in the club's history:
"(Calmly) Now all I'm saying to you is when it pops out, you've got to be crafty, you've got to drift off and when it pops out, you've got to establish possession for Orient, for a red shirt.
All I'm saying to you is get your body in the way, you were lucky you got the free-kick.
(Erupting with seizure-inducing anger) Now don't be coming back at me when I'm shouting at you above the crowd and above the next bench. All right? Because I run this f****** football club until I'm told otherwise by the f****** circus upstairs. And if you come back at me, you'll be off the field and you'll be following Terry down the road.(Turns to an amazed Terry and explains) You come and see me tomorrow, you've got a fortnight's notice, because that performance is the straw that broke the camel's back and that will not be tolerated in this dressing room while I'm in charge.
"That is the f****** straw that broke the camel's f****** back and that is typical f****** Leyton Orient! You've had two performances and you think (almost singing and dancing) "I'm f****** Bertie Big B******* tonight, I'll f****** play how I like!". But you won't play how you like, because if you play how you like I'll stick the f****** youth team in."
Despite this cri de coeur, Orient were beaten and John Sitton lost his job.
Premier Manager is the first successful attempt to capture the emotional rollercoaster of real football management.
Pick your team from one of the five European leagues (UK, France, Spain, Italy and Germany) running simultaneously and take complete control of transfers, tactics, team management, squad rotation, finances and club development.
All this action takes place in a fantastic 3D environment, within which you must interact with characters from the world of football. You'll be requesting money to rebuild the squad from your chairman, issuing instructions to trainers and coaches, handling negotiations with player agents, massaging player's egos and trying to fend off the more intrusive members of the press.
You'll experience all the emotions of football management, scheduling you weekly workload. What will be more important: taking control of a training session, doing a newspaper interview or renegotiating a contract?
The interface provides unique face-to-face meetings in realistic 3D settings - pay close attention to their expressions and learn how to get the best out of them.
To keep in touch with the world outside your club, you'll need to access Eurosportnews the in-game TV channel, which displays tables, fixtures and results, plus news about transfers, sackings and stockmarket flotations.
Covering every aspect of the job from training ground to post match press conference Premier Manager is going to seriously damage your social life.