Running With Scissors makes it official - and licenses Epic Games' UNREAL Warfare engine

Today, the most dangerous videogame development company on the planet, Running With Scissors, announced POSTAL 2 is coming for REAL!

"It's as much fun as pouring gasoline on a grease fire and caffeinating sex rolled into one!" screamed a jubilant Vince Desi in referring to licensing Epic Games' UNREAL™ Warfare engine. "The spineless bastards who pretend to represent the interests of the non game-playing public are going to **** themselves when they see this!"

Why make POSTAL 2? As a responsible videogame development company, our first obligation is to our fans and all video game players. Wracked with remorse over the legendary POSTAL and the irreparable damage to the mental fabric of society it caused, we decided to atone by making a "politically corrected" game about the most boring subject we could think of: a guy going to buy milk.

Mark Rein, Vice President of Epic Games, cautioned, "Frankly, these Running With Scissors guys are out of their minds; the thought of them using the UNREAL™ Warfare engine to make POSTAL 2 totally disgusts us," adding, "I'm not sure our technology works in Hell, but we'll find out."

Exploding with joy, the Running With Scissors team believes that Epic Games' industry benchmark UNREAL™ Warfare engine technology is the perfect match for their next morality-twisting gaming experience. Desi went on to drool, "I feel like a high school freshman thrown into the girls' shower - this is Excellent!"

"With screaming UNREAL™ Warfare engine technology from Epic Games, Inc., Running With Scissors is locked and loaded like never before. Running With Scissors is getting ready to frag 'em and shag 'em in extra-crispy first-person style. Why? Because everyone knows the POSTAL™ Dude always delivers."

The official site is available here!