Crime Patrol 2: Drug Wars

Platform: DVD
Genre: Shooting
Publisher/Developer: Digital Leisure
Release Date: July/2002

Crime Patrol 2: Drug Wars originally appeared long ago in arcades, this version is aesthetically identical to that game with a few notable exceptions. First off, unlike the arcade game that allowed you to use a light-gun to blast the baddies, this version only allows you to use a DVD remote or equivalent (read: Dual-Shock). Yes, you can use a DVD remote to play this game, sounds cool you say? Trust me, it isn’t. Digital Leisure ported the original arcade game into a DVD compatible disc that can be played in any device capable of playing DVDs; Xbox, PS2, it don’t matter. What this transition has done is turned an already lack-luster game into a DVD menu navigation exercise. You’ll move the cursor around pre-set locations of the screen and hit the ‘enter’ button to shoot at the location you’ve selected. Once you do this the action will freeze for a few seconds and determine which animation to show you based on the location you shot at. If your target reticule was on a bad-guy it will continue on with the sequence and throw up new baddies to cap. If you shot at an area that doesn’t have an enemy it will switch to a screen which informs you via poorly executing acting that you have to start over.

The story consists of three separate five-minute missions wherein you’re a cop who has taken on the task of rubbing out some big-time drug cartel goons, after finishing up those missions you’ll be able to access different sequences. As you progress through the stages a camera will move around the premises as actors and actresses move out of your way, then the camera will stop and give you a static vantage point for you to plug a couple more gun-toting enemies, after which the process repeats. It’s a simple concept and anyone who lived through the FMV debacle of the mid-90’s will immediately get over the fact that the game uses real people and real video as the visuals. The gameplay has almost zero depth to it and the pre-set locations that you can target are sometimes not in sync with the location of the screen you need to hit. Not to mention the fact that it is not unusual for an enemy to pop up on the opposite side of the screen as the previous enemy, forcing you to tap the directional keys super-fast just to make it to the next target in time. Also the lack of a save function relegates this title to a mere novelty item.

It might just be me here, but it seems like if your going to port a “gun” game to a different platform you should include the “gun” element of the experience. I realize that this may have not been feasible considering the fact that this “game” supports multiple platforms, but damn, what’s the point of playing a light-gun game without being able to actually use a gun? This fact alone takes the enjoyment of the game all the way down to ground-level.

Graphically the game looks nearly identical to a B-movie, goofy acting, ill-conceived stunts, laughable reactions, and over-the-top villain included. No actual pixel or 3D rendered graphics can be found in the game with the exception of the targeting reticule. The sound department is just as cheesy and out-of-place as the visuals, background music sounds better suited for a porno and the voice acting is downright jarring and annoying.

It’s hard to keep from slinging unnecessary mud at this game, it’s just such a complete waste of time, and a rip-off for anyone who plunks down the requisite thirty bucks to buy it. I think it’s possible for some people to get a kick out of this game but it’s not very likely, the poor gameplay, horrible acting, and miniscule amount of game-time don’t do much to help matters either. If you don’t have any console systems to play “real” games on you might want to look into giving this game a try – actually, scratch that, avoid it at all costs no matter the circumstance.

Score: 1.4