Genre: Sports
Publisher: Sega
Developer: Sumo Digital
Release Date: March 18, 2008

The simple, brutal truth is that I am not a sports gamer by habit. You're unlikely to find me outside the local game store drooling over the latest Madden game, and any game with acronyms like NBA or NFL or NHL get only the most sparing glance from me. This is largely because I feel that video games should be fun, and what's fun to me is not memorizing a hundred different plays and intricately knowing the mechanics of a sports game; I just want to play and enjoy. This is one of the driving factors behind my appreciation of titles like Mario Kart over Gran Turismo: I just want the fun. Sega Sports provided a good example of the kind of game I can enjoy when they created Virtua Tennis on the Dreamcast, and it was my sincere hope that Sega Superstars Tennis would at least prove to be a spiritual sequel, not in theme, but in playability and substance. Were this a grading course based on that notion, Sumo Digital would get a B+, as Sega Superstars Tennis is only passingly similar to what I was seeking.

One of the first and most obvious issues that is noticeably lacking in Sega Superstars Tennis is the visual finesse for which Sega has been known. While it's truly laudable of the company to attempt to put style before substance — and this is an admirable attempt at doing so, make no mistake — it is the mark of a truly expert game production company if they can ensure a strong, playable title without sacrificing the appealing visual elements that will bring passing players over to ask, "What's that you're playing?" The opening cinema is splendid, and it really showcases what the Nintendo DS is capable of achieving in this venue, but it stops there, as though someone simply ran out of time while developing this title's look. Courts are clearly texture-mapped and somewhat nondescript, and while the characters are identifiable as they move about the screen, there is a certain blocky look that could have easily been remedied with a little more finesse. The most grievous offender here is the character selection screen, with each character's portrait looking like it was ripped off of an early-generation PlayStation title.

Upon further investigation, the sound doesn't particularly seem to outshine the game's visuals in any way. While it is true that seasoned Sega fanatics have gotten used to clawing at their ears when forced to endure the agonizing voice acting that is typically provided for any of the Sonic characters, the other games' stars don't appear to have gotten any more attention. The grunts and squeaks produced by the stars of Super Monkey Ball are especially painful — bad enough to actually cause me to physically wince the first time I heard them and irritating enough to convince me not to choose Aiai from that point forward. The hero of Jet Grind Radio is equally obnoxious, with his snide commentary and blatantly arrogant tone of voice making me wish that I could reach through the screen and smack him in the back of the head.

Of course, as stated in the beginning of the review, what I was really looking for from Sega Superstars Tennis was strong playability, something that I could do for fun. This facet turned out to be a mixed bag, at best; while there is a tournament mode, it's always the same; you take down five comparatively incompetent computer opponents, claim your victory, and then go on to get your head handed to you on a platter by Dr. Robotnik. (I don't care what Sega says, I'm not saying "Eggman.")

That's right, tennis fans; this game suffers from what is known as deus mechanica, commonly referred to as "computer god mode." In one instance, I quite literally engaged in a volley for five solid minutes with the villainous technophile, until he won by simply wearing me down. No matter what I sent at him, he was always there in time, and it was my humanity rather than my lack of skill that finally caused me to be unable to keep up with him.

To a certain degree, the ability to perform different shots and control the angle of the ball helped with the difficulty somewhat to prevent all of the variety from being funneled out of the experience. However, the "super shot" mechanic is an unwelcome and generally useless option for any human player. Throw in the absolute inability to chase after a ball that lands behind you and a truly agonizing attempt at stylus control, and you will quickly discover that much of Sega Superstars Tennis' learning curve comes not from skill, but from simply learning how to accommodate the title's quirky control structure.

Do not mistake the above paragraphs as an example of decrying the game as a whole. While it is true that the tournament and quick play modes are lacking, a broad variety of minigames are available to take your mind off of the aforementioned failings, and this is one of the two areas where Sega Superstars Tennis really shines. Whether you're striking down criminals in the Virtual Cop area, taking zombies out in the Curien Mansion area, or using Super Monkey Ball to play a miniature game of pool with your tennis ball, there's enough variety here to entertain for quite some time. While it is true that some of the subgame descriptions are somewhat lacking and take a bit of deciphering to figure out, they're also wonderful for building skills; play through all 64 minigames, and you will come away a better player for doing so.

The other noticeable element to Sega Superstars Tennis that will keep players coming back for more is the multiplayer mode. While the single-player experience is somewhat lacking in execution, playing against a human opponent is what really drew players to the first Sega tennis title, and this is no different. Many of the issues mentioned earlier (omnipotent computer, useless trick shots, repetitive gameplay) vanish when you get an actual human friend to play with, and this really assists in rescuing this title from the bargain bin.

Overall, there is nothing wrong with Sega Superstars Tennis that six more months of development wouldn't have fixed. The game is not broken in any way; it's just graphically underdeveloped and retains control issues that make actually playing tennis against the computer an unfulfilling experience. Sega's superstars deserve better treatment than this.

Score: 6.2/10