Genre: Casino
Publisher: Electronic Arts
Developer: Beanbag Studios
Release Date: October 27, 2008

The problem with card games, especially those that purport to teach, is that they are so very rarely actually games. They may have a smattering of the trappings of game-hood, but in most cases, they simply exist to confer their knowledge and perhaps offer limited practice. This is most certainly the case with Electronic Arts' digital translation of Poker for Dummies. The program offers hefty tutorials aimed at teaching the basics of three of the most popular poker games: Seven Card Stud, Omaha and, of course, the infamous Texas Hold 'em.

Before one dives directly into the fray, the program offers a series of slideshows that discuss not only the rules of the various games, but also subjects such as table etiquette and casino knowledge. These presentations, which have about as much flair and entertainment value as an average political science lecture, are relatively lean in the amount of relevant information offered. At the end of each, as may be expected by the classroom setting being established, a short quiz tests the player's retention of the slideshow's contents. The quizzes become more and more in-depth as they move into the realm of actual poker games and the rules involved. These things are in no way game-like, but they do have a fairly slick presentation. The slides are well-drawn and often humorous.

After the slideshows and quizzes, a practice area allows the player a chance to learn the game of choice one step at a time. Tediously advancing through phases, the program explains every detail admirably, taking special consideration to explain pertinent slang terms and notable information. This continues after the rules have been fully explained. The player is offered the chance to put newly learned skills to the test against a handful of AI opponents. To help even further, an outstanding odds calculator is introduced that is able to track and display the player's chances to secure certain hands. This calculator, which can be accessed outside of the practice games, is probably the program's most worthwhile addition. Even after playing Hold 'em for several years, I found the odds calculator useful and wish desperately I could take it to the table at some point, as it vastly improved my judgment during the practice games.

Finally, there are the three games themselves. In this particular electronic version, the player is granted a small sum of investment capital, which can be altered in the options menu. Risking this money in small fixed-limit games, the player is (hopefully) able to increase the size of the initial account throughout several games. Eventually, once the player has earned the phenomenal sum of $10,000, he is able to buy into a No-Limit game of his choice and presumably flush all of that imaginary money down the tubes.

This single-player "campaign," if you will, is where the problems begin to stray toward insurmountable. For one thing, the $10,000 goal and its subsequent investment are really all the game has to offer in the way of incentive. There are no extra game modes; there are no particularly difficult opponents. The player's only real impetus to continue is a misguided hope that the program will make him better at the game of choice. This is possible only if the player has never sat at the felt.

The AI opponents are also somewhat of a problem. Though generally rather conservative in their approach, sometimes these computerized opponents will make plays that are at best complete nonsense. It isn't uncommon in the least for two or three opponents to call monumental raises with a flush draw on the table and not a single card of the suit in their hands. Of course, it can be argued that these opponents are programmed to play like beginners, but the sad fact is that they never improve over the course of the game. They continually make inexplicable decisions that will ultimately stymie the learning of the player.

This is compounded by the fact that Poker for Dummies lacks any sort of multiplayer component. It's too bad, since a game of this sort would most likely provide little interest to the poker elite, meaning that this would have been a great opportunity for those looking to improve their game and practice techniques against those of the same skill level.

Only the most uninitiated novices will find any value in this title. Though the provided explanations are generally quite detailed, they assume that the player knows absolutely nothing about poker. Unfortunately, the program seems to be aimed toward middling card players looking to improve, so this approach offers very little that might interest the demographic.
It's fairly difficult to engage in any sort of intelligent criticism of the graphics here. There are no models, no backgrounds to speak of, and nothing that might logically be referred to as art. There are menus, of course. These are well-constructed and simple, a sort of austere style that is nonetheless very functional. The slide presentations are nicely drawn, with humorous pictures. Other than these meager offerings, there is very little to discuss in the way of graphics.

The sound effects vacillate on a scale somewhere between unremarkable and infuriating. The music, which loops while the player access slideshows and menus, is a forgettable jazz number that seems to exist solely to provide a break from the game sounds. In what must have been a misguided attempt to replicate the sounds of a thriving casino, Poker for Dummies fills its play sessions with a pulsing, horrendous cacophony of clinking glasses and whispered conversations. The words, just jumbled enough to be unintelligible, scratch at the eardrums and eventually necessitate turning off the sounds completely. The sounds don't so much resemble a busy game room as a severe haunting.

Ultimately, Poker for Dummies is less of a game and more of a poker tutor. It has extremely limited graphics, annoying sounds, and very limited game modes. The AI is specious, and the game lacks any sort of multiplayer component. It does, though, offer a variety of slide shows and basic poker rules that will be quite helpful to brand-new players. Its most useful feature, the odds calculator, is worth a look from even more advanced players. Unfortunately, the $20 price tag is simply too steep for what is ultimately a sorely lacking representation of a great game.

Score: 6.0/10