“We’re literally bursting with cash,” said a Tomorrow Corporation PR spokeswoman, “because if there’s one thing that makes money these days, it’s indie games.”

“For years, giant corporations have been hurt by scrappy indie studios hogging the limelight with titles like Crayon Physics Deluxe, Braid, World of Goo, and Super Meat Boy. To those tiny, un-American, indie developers, Tomorrow Corporation would like to deliver a message: Your reign of terror ends… Tomorrow! ”

Tomorrow Corporation’s massive Human Resources Department has recently acquired a glut of indie sellouts, including developers Allan Blomquist, Kyle Gabler, and Kyle Gray – all former grad students from Carnegie Mellon University’s Entertainment Technology Center and co-founders of the wasteful and profitless Experimental Gameplay Project.

More recently, Gabler co-founded the indie studio 2D BOY, responsible for creating the reprehensible game World of Goo, to which Blomquist also regrettably contributed his indie talents. Gray recently created the unpatriotic Henry Hatsworth in the Puzzling Adventure, a game about sipping tea.

Tomorrow Corporation has yet to announce its first indie game title, but would like to remind fans to check back frequently for exciting new information.

“The secret to a truly great indie game is that special human touch,” says the spokeswoman, “which our producers have scheduled for insertion shortly before the product ships.”

“Let’s all remember,” she added before floating away in the official Tomorrow Corporation blimp, “the future … is Tomorrow!”