As a Scraper on a impossibly dangerous mission at the edge of the galaxy, you only have one life to navigate all the nightmarish terrains of Strafe.

Players simply grab a gun, teleport into a unique level set, and paint the walls red, with ÜBER-GORE technology that allows for ludicrously persistent gibs. The only thing greater than the blood flow will be the future cash flow.

Known to its previous victims as “the fastest, bloodiest, deadliest, most adjective-abusing, action-packed first-person shooter of 1996,” Strafe has pushed the limits of computer-generated photorealism and hardcore sci-fi action so far, it’s doomed the human species to a fate so terrifying, so unreal, that billions quake at the mere thought of not getting a chance to play it on release day.

“People want blood. They want tight action,” said Thom Glunt, director of STRAFE. “They want speed that makes their face melt off, so they can scoop up the soupy remains and toss it in the air like a liquid confetti. Nobody gets that like Devolver Digital.”

“Once everyone is dead, then we can take literally all of their money,” said Fork Parker, Devolver Digital CFO. “Who’s gonna stop us? You? You’ll be a boiling puddle of entrails with more important things to do, like replacing the office chair you just dissolved through. And good luck, ‘cause you’re bankrupt.”