As a Scraper on a impossibly dangerous mission at the edge of the galaxy, you only have one life to navigate all the nightmarish terrains of Strafe.

Players simply grab a gun, teleport into a unique level set, and paint the walls red, with ÜBER-GORE technology that allows for ludicrously persistent gibs. The only thing greater than the blood flow will be the future cash flow.

Known to its previous victims as “the fastest, bloodiest, deadliest, most adjective-abusing, action-packed first-person shooter of 1996,” Strafe has pushed the limits of computer-generated photorealism and hardcore sci-fi action so far, it’s doomed the human species to a fate so terrifying, so unreal, that billions quake at the mere thought of not getting a chance to play it on release day.

Strafe will now release on both PS4 and PC May 9 after a slight delay due to an unforeseen polygon shortage.

“Strafe requires over 150,000 meticulously placed polygons to create its bleeding edge graphics,” noted game director Thom Glunt. “Through an unexpected legal entanglement and a series of clerical errors, nearly 25,000 of those polygons arrived late to Pixel Titans world headquarters thus delaying the game by a few weeks.”